|
An
Article from NarcissismAddictionsAbuse.com
A
Website from Benefiting Women, LLC.
Examples
of article topics include the nacissistic &
narcissism,the alcoholic & alcoholism, drug addiction, sex or
sexual addiction including pornography addiction, emotional
abuse,
verbal abuse, economic abuse, symptoms of depression &
depression
treatment, anxiety, eating disorders including bulimia &
anorexia
nervosa, codependency, plus how to find pain relief & joy
through
self-improvement or personal
development, spirituality & spiritual growth, & living
a more
purposeful life by listening to your inner wisdom & embracing
personal power.
Secrets of a
Formerly Miserable Wife
Author
Diane
England, Ph.D. has the credentials you expect, plus she has
empathy and speaks from the heart because she has
been there, too.
“How to
Discover if Your
Husband
Suffers
from
Alcoholism”
Are you trying to
decide if your husband
is an alcoholic? Of course, the experts engage in a diagnostic process
before
they ever label someone as suffering from alcoholism. There are certain
criteria that must be met that the mental health community has agreed
upon.
These are listed in a diagnostic manual of mental disorders that
psychiatrists
and therapists use.
Actually, it’s
that way with other addictions, personality disorders, and additional
mental
disorders, too. Thus, while I might write about narcissism and the
narcissistic
man, and perhaps imply you should consider that some of your marital
problems
could stem in part from your spouse’s narcissism,
I’m certainly not trying to
tell you that he has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
I’m pointing out
that if he matches some of the diagnostic criteria for that personality
disorder, even if he isn’t diagnosable as such, he indeed
could engage in
destructive behaviors. He also might have other confounding problems
such as
alcoholism that not only have negative effects on him, but on you and
your
marriage.
I also want to
remind you that often, a person doesn’t just have one mental
health disorder.
Some seem to typically co-exist in a person. That’s why
I’ve entitled this blog Narcissism,
Addictions, and Abuse,
and I will ultimately address all these topics. These problems often
appear
together and interface in a way that only further worsens or
complicates
matters. But to impact all the existing problems, the multiple mental
health
issues must all be effectively dealt with, too.
When the person
is an alcoholic, it’s important for him to deal with his
alcoholism first.
Certainly, you might play a vital role in helping him do this, as I
suggested
in my previous post to this blog. But to know if an intervention is
necessary,
it helps to know if he truly does have a problem with alcohol. There is
a way
you might be able to decide this, and without involving a professional
to make
a formal diagnosis. Of course, if you discover alcoholism is likely,
then
you’ll want to seek professional help. But what I’m
about to share with you can
be a good place to start.
I am going to give
you four questions you can ask your husband. I won’t promise
he’ll answer them,
but I’ve tried to write them out in a way that I think he
might, especially if
you ask them in a relaxed manner when he’s in a calm frame of
mind. In other
words, don’t do it when you’ve been confronting him
about his drinking. Also,
he should be sober, or have as little alcohol in his system as
possible, when
you try this. Thus, you might have to ask the questions first thing in
the
morning, for example.
These questions are
modified versions of four questions that are part of a clinical test
called the
CAGE. This is the most widely used test in clinical practice to assess
if
someone might indeed have a drinking problem. While it certainly
won’t provide
a definitive answer, again, it is a good place to start. If your
husband
answers two or more of these questions in the affirmative, he probably
does
have a problem with alcohol; he might prove diagnosable as an alcoholic. But of course,
you’ll want to seek the help
of a professional to make that determination.
Here are the questions:
•
“I know you don’t think you have a drinking
problem, but I’m
just curious if you’ve ever secretly asked yourself whether
you should cut down
on your drinking? Or, do you ever think it might be beneficial if you
did?”
•
“It seems to annoy you when I criticize your drinking. Have other people annoyed
you by criticizing
your drinking, too?”
•
“Do you ever feel guilty about your drinking? (If he tells
you
that he does, you might want to ask him to share examples of when he
has, or
what he actually felt guilty about).
•
“Do you ever feel you have to have a drink first thing in the
morning as an eye opener to steady you nerves or to get rid of a
hangover?”
Again, if he
answers two or more questions in the affirmative, perhaps it is time to
encourage him to seek professional help. If he won’t, and
things continue to
decline as they undoubtedly will, you might have to intervene. That
doesn’t
mean the situation warrants an intervention and putting him in a
treatment
center, however. But then again, it could. Before you do this, though,
you
might want to seek the advice of your family’s primary care
physician. Or, if
you do contact a treatment center, reputable and well run facilities
will ask
you questions about your spouse’s drinking and associated
behaviors. These help
staff decide if such treatment is likely warranted. Therefore, knowing
the
answers to these questions could prove helpful. You also might consider
writing
down notes about his drinking and how he behaves, too. Be as specific
as
possible.
Do you want more
information still about these topics than is available here? You might
be
interested in my book.
Disclaimer:
This
how-to and self-help relationship advice and information for women
about
narcissism, addictions and abuse should be considered educational or
inspirational—a guide or directory to things to consider and
inform questions to
ask a professional you contact for sound advice. It is not a substitute
for
marriage counseling, individual therapy, or legal advice. Women coping
with
domestic violence such as emotional abuse, verbal abuse, and/or sexual
abuse—even
where no physical abuse is present—are encouraged to seek
professional help for
treatment of depression, anxiety, self esteem, and other likely
associated
issues.
©
2007,
Benefiting Women, LLC.
All
material at www.NarcissismAddictionsAbuse
is copyrighted.
Feel free to duplicate and distribute this article for noncommercial
and
educational purposes, though we require it remain completely intact as
laid
out, from the header to the bottom of this copyright notice. No article
may be
placed on a website without permission. If you have a website that
attracts
women who could benefit from the information at this site, please link
to it.
Meta-description
tag: Alcoholism, alcoholic, sign of alcoholism, brain change, brain
injury, brain damage, Narcissism, Narcissistic Personality
Disorder,
narcissistic,
narcissist, personality disorders, mental illnesses, mental disorders,
emotional abuse, verbal abuse, verbally abusive relationship, domestic
violence, codependency, co-dependency, codependent, depression,
anxiety, information
for women, self help, help self.
|